Book #12 Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg

I didn't hyperlink this image, so don't click on it. You can order from the links at Konigsberg's website. 

Openly Straight is the story of Rafe who decides to move from Colorado to the East Coast in order to attend an all-boys boarding school. He tells his family and friends he’s switching schools in order to have a better chance at attending an Ivy-league school, but in reality, he wants to see what it would be like not being identified as the “gay guy" and he decides to "stand in the door of the closet" at his new school. 

I like Rafe and I like this story of friendships. But, I must say even before reading the book, I knew what was going to happen, and you probably do too. But that doesn't mean the plot is too predictable to be enjoyed and be surprised. Konigsberg creates some scenes I rarely, if ever, have seen in a book—a boy kissing a boy for the first time and boys discussing their attraction to one another. These moments are tender and lovely and funny and sad.

This in not a book where the gay protagonist gets beaten to a pulp or extremely humiliated in front of his peers, but there are moments of homophobia and ridicule. Rafe is lucky to have a wonderful family—interestingly both are professors—and his mom supports her son with love and enthusiasm, and I can’t help but smiling at the way she joins in on her son’s life. And, she would probably give him a copy of Openly Straight. 

Konigsberg has a great blog; I feel as if I could spend several hours reading through his posts which are witty, readable, and personal. I'm not sure if he will ever read this post, but if you do, please consider writing a sequel. 

Lazy Saturdays and Bedtime Reading

Merry and Pippin's Lazy Saturday

Just finished a paper I’ve been working on for several months last night. Although I know I’ll probably have major revisions to make (and I welcome the opportunity to make it better), it felt good to cross it off my list. (and, yes, I have a real list I make each semester for my research projects and cross them off one by one). In celebration of that landmark (and not a day too soon since we report back on Monday), Emery and I decided to take a lazy Saturday. That means reading, television, and video games. About 2, my need to be busy and boss people around kicked in and Emery’s now practicing violin and singing, while I’m gardening and blogging.

Speaking of bossing people around, I’d like to discuss our bedtime reading routine. I’m not sure what I read in grad school, but I remember being in some literary and children’s literature courses and hearing about the importance of reading aloud to children. And, about fluency, And something called DIBELS. I then remembered (and this is completely unfair) about students I made read aloud in my high school class and how those students who would read and the other students would cringe or moan at the thought (or be embarrassed) for those students who couldn’t read as well or with emotion. I then I remembered I made no effort to work one on one with those students to help them read aloud better—what if Emery had a teacher like me? And honestly, in classrooms with 30+ kids, the amount he could spend reading aloud would be minimal anyway.

So, I made the commitment to read aloud to Emery before he was even born. And, at first, I read picture books. You may not be aware of how many wonderful picture books there are for children; I wasn’t and I would visit our local library and leave with stacks. And, I think my efforts worked. Emery would crawl up to me and shove Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus into my hands and wait for me to read it. Over and over.

As he started day care, we moved our reading aloud time to our bedtime routine. I think it was from the many parenting books I read and watched that I picked up on the keep a strict bedtime routine neatly packaged by the catch phrase “Bath, books, bed”. 10 years later, we still religiously stick to that routine, even on vacation.

Research speaks to the benefits of reading with your children, in fact, there are several public service announcements promoting the practice. And, I must admit I also saw it as a full-proof way to bond with one’s child. But, it’s exhausting and sometimes at the end of the day, I just wanted to read my own book. So, I worked out a schedule in which Victor would read to Emery one night, and I would the next. And, that’s the way it is.

The point of this entry is not to brag about my wonderful parenting skills, it’s to show how important this routine is to our lives. And, I don’t think many people still read aloud to their 10 year olds. But I did ask someone in my children’s book club how long he read to his son, and he said as long as he lets us to keep going (I suspect he and his wife read to their son when he was a teenager and their son is amazing, so it certainly can’t hurt).

 And, we’re about to finish the fifth book of Ridley Pearson’s Kingdom Keepers series and I’m ready for a change. I think I’m tired of all of the OTK, CTD, 2.0 talk and ready to return to something a little less action based and a little more thoughtful.

I think we’re ready for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

After all, we’ve watched all but the last episode of Fawlty Towers and Emery already knows the secret to the universe, so it’s time.

Emery’s comment: I am glad that I am not the only one who is tired of text speak in books. A Saturday spa day and/or lazy day can really help. Also for bedtime reading parent and child can bond together and be on the same page.

Victor’s Comment: As long as Emery wants one of us to read to him, I’m cool with it.  But I fondly remember that at a certain point, reading in bed before lights out became my time.  That was my first time through Lord of the Rings and a lot of other great books.  I hope Emery will not be too shy to say he wants to read on his own … when he wants.  No hurry.  I’d like to point out that reading in bed had been a cherished pastime until my wife made me turn out the light and leave the room if I wanted to continue to read.  She is weak and can’t stay up late.  It has been a blow to literacy and she is bossy.

Book #11 Karen Healey’s While We Run

 I’m evoking rule #3 The right not to finish this book. It’s not a bad book; it’s just a sequel and the author hasn’t made me really connect with the characters yet.

While We Run is a science fiction story set in Australia in the year 2127. The world is at a crisis—it’s close to depleting all of its natural resources, and Abdi and Teegan are the spokespersons for an opportunity for people to enter a cryonic state and take a spaceship to a habitable planet. They are not willing spokespersons, in fact, they are tortured and held captive until the first third of the book is over, when they escape and join a rebel group to—and at this point I’m not sure. That’s where I stopped. I might read the first book  because of the interesting premise, but when it takes me this long to read a book, I know something's up. I like a book that I can't put down and the next book might be like that. 

Cooking well(ish)

Hello, this is another Emery special because mom is playing video games. This post is to those new in the field of cooking. As a start make cold meals like salad, sandwiches and cold soups. Next, preheat leftovers for about 45 seconds ( I would do this for a pizza.) later on read the book How To Cook Without a book. Start small and make hot soup or salad dressing. Try finding the kind of cooking you like (ex. Oven made foods) and experiment with that . last thing is to take advantage of herbs and have fun!

Mom

Sigh, it’s true. I’ve been trying to find another piece of the master ore in Zelda: A Link Between Worlds so I can power up my sword. 

New Year’s Resolutions

Emey's Nintendo Calendar for 2014

Of course we have resolutions in my family.

The way I have made my New Year’s resolutions has evolved over the years. First, I used to make a list of vague resolutions such as “lose weight” or “save money.” That approach never lasted long. Then, I learned to make more specific resolutions like “exercise three times a week” or “save $25 each month.” That seemed to work better. Then, I heard a radio show (it might have been on a Christian radio station during a long car ride) where it was suggested that instead of making a list of resolutions one chose a word to live by for that year, such as “joy” or “love.”

Taking a word approach worked well for a while. My favorite year was the year I chose “thanks.” I focused on giving thanks and being thankful and chose to do and say things that reflected that concept. I tried that format again this year by choosing the word “celebrate.” I had just gotten tenure, turned forty, etc. It seemed like it would be a good word, but I gave it up by the middle of the year and switched my word to “think.”

Well, I can’t seem to find a word this year (I narrowed it down to “gratitude” and “support” but neither seem right), so it seems as if it’s time to change things again.

When Victor and I asked Emery about his resolution for this year (I think his resolution last year was to write neater) he said “Stay on top of things.” Today, Victor decided his would be “Get it down.” I like the idea of having a mission statement guide one’s thoughts and actions for the next year. Both have been posted to the side of the refrigerator. Now, I just have to come up with mine. . . 

Emery's  comment: support. she needs to do support. not just for others but for herself.

Book #10 Rainbow Rowell’s Eleanor & Park

Here's a copy of the cover for the UK version 

Want a feel-good romance to read during the semester break? Eleanor & Park is for you. Seriously, if you’re a child of the 80s, E&P will bring you back to the days of mixed tapes, comics, and school buses (ala John Hughes—the opening scene on the school bus, with it’s colorful use of cuss words seems quite realistic). Eleanor and Park are an unlikely pair thrown together through circumstance. This is the story of their love affair as sixteen year olds, and the type of friendship in which one will endure pain, triumph, and frustration just for a few moments to be with the one they love.

After reading this book, I wondered if the author set it in the 80s in part to appeal to readers like me. The New York Times reviewer of Rapture Practice made a similar case about that book, but my writer husband just says it’s probably the authors reliving their own childhood. I think I agree with him.

The theme of this book really seems to be captured by a comment Park makes about the lasting relevance of Romeo & Juliet “Because people want to remember what it’s like to be young[.] And in love[.]”  Rowell excels at this, and passages will make one remember what it was like really holding hands for the first time or the excitement of finding a moment to be alone together. And, there are the moments of embarrassment and cruelty we may or may not have experienced but were more than likely aware of. There are all sorts of parents in this book; and we find just as many loving, competent adults as we do incompetent, cruel ones.

Finally, thanks to Rowell for offering some hair tips for girls with curly hair (from the author picture on the jacket, it appears as if she has curly hair, too). As a teen who had hair that would never, could never, look like the other girls’, I think it’s important to encourage girls to embrace their individual looks.

Book #9 Aaron Hartlzer’s Rapture Practice and bonus parenting book

Rapture Practice is Hartlzer’s memoir of growing up on a conservative Christian family. He struggles with the strict rules his mother and father enforce mainly through guilt and tactics such as reminding him “God will know if you [insert sinful behavior here]. Hartzler endures a number of public apologies (sort of reminiscent of those religious leaders who publicly confess their sins) for his sins (ranging from listening to a soft rock radio station to drinking alcohol at a New Year’s party) and with each one, he resolves to hide his behavior better and looks to the day when he will be on his own.

Hartzler’s title is great—probably the best one out of the bunch I’ve read so far. It’s the kind of title that has several possible meanings and captures the themes in the book wonderfully.

Memoirs aren’t really my choice of book, but I have a graduate student who just earned her PhD whom I think will enjoy this book. Her dissertation was on using young adult memoirs with teachers in the hopes that they will use them with their students, and she was saddened by how many of them found the books to be too controversial to use in their classrooms. RP would probably have generated the same response.

I think my favorite parts of Hartlzer’s book are the moments he spends with his grandparents, especially his grandmother. We travel to Emery’s grandparents’ houses several times each year and I hope he is able to form a close relationship with them during these brief visits.  

And now for the bonus book.

I always feel the need for some self-help reading when I get overloaded on children’s and young adult books (I had just read Fako Mustache over the weekend after Emery asked me too—it’s a great, funny read for a boy or a girl and yes, it’s about a fake mustache). So, I was browsing my public library’s digital offerings on my Nook, when I came across Rosalind Wiseman’s Masterminds and Wingmen (she’s the author of Queen Bees and Wannabees).

Masterminds and Wingmen is a perfect companion to Rapture Practice. For example, every time Aaron gets in trouble for doing something “wrong” he vows not to get caught again. According to Wisemen, this is part of an adolescent boy’s behavior. In her chapter “Lying and Reconnaissance,” she writes:

"Don’t take your son’s lies personally. If you do take his lies personally, your anger, embarrassment, and frustration will stop you from teaching him that being truthful is worthwhile and you will teach him instead to hide and deceive more."

I think this statement, in part, explains what happens in Hartlzer’s family each time they catch him lying (apparently, I'm not the only one who noticed the lying part, here's a link to a New York Times review noticing the same thing--also contains a review of Openly Straight, which is also in my box). If you read the author’s blurb about him, you learn he goes onto being an actor and lives with his boyfriend (and I just checked Aaron's site and according to twiiter, they are engaged! Congrats!). At the end of the memoir, I can’t even imagine how he gets to that spot without a tremendous amount of hard work, perseverance, and tears. I would like to know that story too.

Do you have any recommendations for pairing children’s/ young adult books with books about parenting?