The Summer Doldrums

We have now hit what I think of as the summer doldrums. For those of you familiar with your children’s literature, a reference can be found to the doldrums in the Phantom Tollbooth as a place where people are stuck in a routine of lounging around. And, they also refer to, if I remember correctly, calms spots of weather, without winds or storms, on the ocean.

A quick google search confirms that we are in the summer doldrums as this USA Today Money article notes. Only, they are referring to the financial markets. I’m referring, however, to the period of time that exists between the end of school and the beginning of summer camps.

During this time, parents often have to scramble to find temporary child-care options. That might mean visiting grandparents, friends whose parents work at home (or are not teaching), or taking your children to work with you.

For professor-types, the doldrums (at least for those of us who teach in the summer) exist in the days after the semester has ended and the beginning of summer classes. Summer reading, video games, and gardening beckon. Alas, who can justify relaxing when in just two weeks, classes start and there are syllabi to update, course material to read, and papers to be written?

Redmag's blogs for moms has a column on 10 tips for getting kids to read. While I applaud their

I asked Emery what he was going to do this week. In addition to posting more videos to his Youtube Channel, here’s his list:

Monday-fun, violin, movie night

Tuesday-help mom cook

Wednesday- set info for server

Thursday-make minecraft server, clean house

Friday-Friends come over

p.s. Redbook magazine's Momrama blog has a column on 10 tips for getting kids to read. While I applaud their efforts and like the tips about finding what your kids are curious about and find books about those topics, they overlooked a very simple tip--give them good books. I wish they had listed some sources on how to find those books, and it's quite possible that my next post should be on locating good books for your kids. Because no matter how much kids love learning about the planets, they will not bother with a  poorly written book on the topic, and we shouldn't make them read them. 

why you-tubing is hard with Emery

Youtube's more metallic than ever

a few weeks after my mom did the you tube post i got a you tube channel. took forever to find channel art, made a couple videos(edited out deaths) and typed them in to see how they looked.(Just so you know my videos are on video games so if you or your children want to see them there will be a link). I typed it in and saw there was a bunch of videos on the same game! (donkey kong tropical freeze). it was impossible for someone to find it!. i thought of sending a link to my friends but they never check it. so i watched some ideas on getting your channel known and found out to use social media. checking my channel i saw on history a bunch of nail polish vlogs my mom watches! not knowing what to do i go to dad to see if he can share the channel on his twitter. the next day he said yes. I went to my mom to see if i could do this post. if you haven't figured it out she said yes. going back to the channel i figured out how to delete videos on history. then saw I had 4 subscribers! I thanked the ones with non-hidden channels and told my parents. making this i think of doing a sneak peak of best buy's E3 nintendo if the camera doesn't shake to much. also to make a channel trailer and  series on mario kart 8. i hope you enjoyed this!

here's the link to the channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt0qDmg1BRTmQnE2CClQg-w

Jackie's comments. Wait a minute. He erased my videos on history? I'm not sure what that means, but he'll tell me. Yep, Emery's been busy this past week--he gets up around 5:30 a.m., figures out what he's going to capture, yells at us (we're still trying to sleep) to stay out of the living room because he's recording, and then he does his thing. All without my help. 

But, I didn't realize that half his plan included researching a marketing strategy. 

Rejection versus Losing: Which is Better for our Children?

The Bring It moms show off their dance moves. 

As I’m writing this, I’m watching the last episode of this season’s Bring It. The episode before this one, the Dancing Dolls came in second place at a large competition. But the way it was represented it was as if they lost. There is loss and rejection in the show. Sunjai, for example, gets cut (a sort of rejection) almost every week from the elite stand battle team. She must deal with the rejection of not making the cut. And, when the team doesn’t make first place, it’s as if they seem to “lose”. And the team has to discuss how to deal with that “loss”. (I say loss because really is second place that bad?)

Our children experience both loss and rejection in their lives. I never thought about it until one of the parents at an audition Emery was at today commented on the fact that her child had chosen an activity (acting) that has a 90% rejection rate. She might be exaggerating, but it was a profound observation to me. A child might be rejected for a role because he or she is not tall enough or loud enough or cute enough. They don’t get to continue beyond the audition. Whereas a child on a basketball team (or golf or art contest) might submit a work or play in a game where they are not the “winner”. But, they get to play in the game. Which is worse? Which is harder? Is there a difference between rejection and losing?

I don’t know. Personally, winning or losing or rejecting wasn’t something I really noticed when I was a child. I didn’t mind losing the run for student council secretary when I was chosen as drum major. Which leads me to the realization that I need to just back off. Perhaps our children don’t recognize the difference or even the implications in the way we do.

I loved watching the Bring It moms put on costumes and dance for the season finale (they even do a stand battle!). I can’t sing and act like Emery can. It makes me realize that my child is capable of things I was never capable of at his age, and that I was able to do things he is not capable of. But my job is to provide him with the resources that he needs and not push him into things he doesn’t enjoy.  

So, what do you think? Is it easier to deal with rejection or losing? Should we avoid activities that favor one or the other? 

Emery's comment: It's true. I'm cool with it but sometimes they hire someone when they are terrible at the part but look like that character. I'm auditioning for a big part and most likely they will choose the one that looks like more like the character. Oh well.

Emery wants his own Youtube channel and Boyd’s book It’s complicated.

First, grad students can be wonderful resources for information. They may not recognize it yet, but they really do have the luxury to stay current and immersed in a particular area of interest. And, they are innovative. Rarely do I have the wonderful, crazy, provocative ideas I once did when I was reading Lacan for one course, watching punk rock movies in another, and discussing the future of education in another.

Which is why I am grateful I expressed my woes about Emery wanting his own Youtube channel so he can make his own “Let’s Plays.” This student recommended that I read Danah Boyd’s (2014) It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens, which I had actually already heard about on NPR, but then immediately dismissed as one of those books I didn’t need to read yet (heaven help Emery when I can finally justify how to prepare your child for college books). This student patiently explained to me (my apologies if I paraphrase this conversation inaccurately) that Boyd argues that many parents’ fears about their children going online might not come true—that our children have this “imagined community” with whom they will interact, and really, how many people are going to seek out his channel. So, I went to my library and, would you believe it, found an online version of the book.

The book is divided into several chapters and based on eight years of research. Here are the chapter titles:

-identity why do teens seem strange online?

-privacy why do youth share so publicly?

-addiction what makes teens obsessed with social media?

-danger are sexual predators lurking everywhere?

-bullying is social media amplifying meanness and cruelty?

-inequality can social media resolve social divisions?

-literacy are today’s youth digital natives?

-searching for a public of their own

I tried to figure out which chapter to read first by trying to figure out my objections to Emery’s getting his own channel (Victor’s is easy—he would read the bullying chapter as he is afraid of the cruel comments people might make on the site. He might be speaking from personal experience). To be honest, my fear is all of the work I’m going to have to do—help Emery create the channel, purchase all of the equipment he kindly wrote for me in a list and left by my stack of work stuff, figure out how to use all of that equipment, etc. Unfortunately, there’s no chapter on children whose pursuits make more work for the mom who can’t let her son figure it out for himself. . .

So, I read the chapter on addiction because as someone who only blogs (I opened a Twitter account but haven’t posted or even looked back at it since then), it’s hard for me to understand why Victor has to check his Twitter every few minutes during dinner or a concert or while driving.

Basically, Boyd begins with the notion that maybe addiction (she likens the passage of time that goes by to being in Csikszentmihalyi’s flow) is a little too strong of a word and that the public is blaming social media instead of other social ills. She likens the amount of time spent social networking to the time teens used to spend on the phone (I spent hours on the phone as a teen). She says teens are not addicted to the technology but to each other (p. 80).She then moves to a discussion about how societal changes (parental fear, increased structured activity time for youth, etc.) has led to less down time for kids to spend with each other face to face. Guilty as charged.

Boyd ends the chapter without a recommended list of strategies for parents or even an idea of how much is too much but instead with the words: “Rather, adults must recognize what teens are trying to achieve and work with them to find balance and to help them think about what they are encountering” (p. 99).

I think this is a book Victor won’t read, but Emery will. I think it would be a good way to start some of the discussions we should be having—and maybe something he needs to do before we agree to his request.

I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

Emery's comment: she knows me. now i'm probably going to read the book. also, heaven help me when mom prepares me for college books. i can help figuring out the equipment and i can self-teach quickly! ... okay, i'll need help with imovie but thats about it! though, part 4 of the book does make me re-think this.